Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
