remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
