Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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