Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
