It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
