Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
