I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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