What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
