he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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