this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
