Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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