Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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