You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Damn victory sex feels great
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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