just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
