what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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