Got a toothbrush?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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