Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
