As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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