I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
