Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
