We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
