I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
