What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
That's when you crack a 10am beer
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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