So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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