in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
