OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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