what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
