I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
