I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Randomize
