This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
