It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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