brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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