and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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