Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
