D3 body, D1 cock
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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