Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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