You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Vodka?
Forever.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
