Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
