official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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