my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
