Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
