Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
