Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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