one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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