just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
