you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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