What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
