Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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