he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
