just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
