There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
